When I left the Level 2 workshop in Seattle on Sunday (June 5th) I knew that I had definitely shifted. What has occurred since then has blown me away by the sheer magnitude and speed of its manifestation.
I was diagnosed with Secondary Progressive MS in September 2008. This was after 9 years of staying away from doctors, 14 years of on and off again symptoms, a near fatal illness at the beginning of 2008, etc. etc. By this time I was rapidly progressive, losing mobility and mental capacity very quickly. My brain and spinal column from top to bottom were riddled with demyelination according to the MRI’s. When I became bedridden in January 2009 I decided that I wanted to be able to stand, walk, and maintain my independence and so I set the intention to slow down progression with my goal being to stop it. By early 2010 I had slowed down progression. By early 2011 I had stopped it. Now my goal was to reverse the damage I had done to my body.
My own knowledge of neuroscience, and neuro-plasticity specifically, told me that it is possible to change the brain. I also knew that neurologists generally believe that although the brain is neuro-plastic, the spinal column is not. I disagree and know that if all other cells can change in the body, why not the spinal column! I just didn’t know how and held the vision in my mind, knowing the ‘how’ would unfold.
I knew of Dr. Joe from What the Bleep and had bought the seminar DVD Evolve Your Brain, from which I knew he presented in the Pacific Northwest.
Enter Dr. Joe and Level 1 in Vancouver. Level 1 gave me what I felt was the key. I followed the guided meditation. Time was often at a premium so I incorporated a shortened version where I took myself through the process after yoga instead of my usual meditation. I have played in the quantum field, but never ‘used’ it in this way.
Change was happening. Signs were many, and all incredible to contemplate from the logical, thinking brain.
On the Wednesday before we left for Seattle, my mobility scooter, which I have been dependent on for over 2 years to get around when I don’t have someone’s arm to hold, or when I can’t walk at all, gets a flat tire while I am out. I am feeling stressed and frustrated because I have things to do on Thursday before we leave town and I know I can’t get it fixed before I leave. How am I going to get around? My thought’ how can this be a sign that ‘you’ are here with me, walking this path of change’ HUGE change’ a place of risk and vulnerability?! How?! I let it go resolving to deal with it when I get back, and in the meantime get people to help me’
Enter Level 2 in Seattle. The shift starts immediately, Friday night’ shift. Saturday’ more shift. Sunday’ oh yeah, this is changing’ the meditation’ profound!!! I get up to collect my heart, leaving my cane (and someone’s arm for support) behind. The words ‘you can’t get up as the same person’ firmly etched in my auditory cortex. I knew I wasn’t. Interestingly, I got back to our hotel room and realize that I don’t have my heart with me. A quick return to the workshop room’ it’s not there either. I guess I don’t need it.
Monday, I walk with my husband (who was also at Level 2 in Seattle). I notice that I have less dependence on my cane. I walk for part of a block on my own’ unexpected’ ‘just happened’ ‘ something I haven’t done for 3+ years. I feel an incredible ‘buzz’. Wow, I think. Thank you.
Tuesday, I go to the pool with my daughter. The lift into the pool isn’t working so I decide that I can walk down the stairs (stairs have been a hurdle, at times a full blown barrier). As I go down the stairs I notice that I can feel the coolness of the water on my ankles and below the knee. I have had virtually no sensation below the knee, my feet particularly since 1998. The ‘buzz’ continues. WOW. Thank you.
I ‘get’ that maybe my flat tire is a sign that I won’t need my mobility scooter for much longer. Later that day I walk up a flight of stairs, both legs lifting to do so. Until this time, I have had to rely on and assist my right leg on higher risers, and drag my left leg up behind’ not Tuesday! I feel like it is my birthday. I have been receiving gifts all day both in my body and from others. WOW!
Wednesday, doing yoga I notice I am lifting my legs without using my hand to assist so I decide ‘ Let’s see if’ and I start lifting my legs, moving my feet, wiggling my toes. I am doing things that I haven’t been able to do for years. There is stiffness in the joints’ to be expected after not being moved for so long’ Wow, they still work! I even did ‘tree’ pose with my foot off the ground! I am filled with awe, with joy, with gratitude. As I continue my practice, tears come in waves. I have an overwhelming feeling of power, of possibility, that I CAN do anything’. that ANYTHING is possible. I call my husband to share and as I speak, words fail me. I am so deeply humbled.
As the day continued I walk with noone’s assistance, I climb onto boxes, I try out my new body. It is awesome! WOW. THANK YOU!
MS has empowered me, bringing me to a complete stop, slowing me down, challenging me to be more than I ever thought I could be, do more than I ever thought I could do, to live in the now! I always joked that although I intended to pursue a career, and didn’t, in neurology and neuroscience, which is my passion, I never expected to be a study in neurology. To see the brain from inside my own body, experience its power, is incredible.
What happened in Seattle? I changed my mind ‘ literally and figuratively! I am on a journey to live in the highest manifestation of self, living my greatness, whole, complete, worthy ‘ and my body is back on this ride with me.
I knew that this would happen I just didn’t expect it to be so quick!
Feeling that I am in another dimension and ‘need’ to ground I have closed my eyes and felt immense joy, love, and gratitude several times a day, however I haven’t actually done any of the guided meditations since Sunday. One weekend ‘ powerful ‘ daily, weekly, even monthly ‘ quantum powered’ the possibilities endless! And, yes ‘ the hardest part is making the time, committing to yourself, and meaning what you say with every cell of your body!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for revealing me to me, for showing me where to find the key. I am so worth it! And, I say that with awe, humility, absolutely inspired by creation.
In deepest love, joy, and gratitude
Leslie P. – Canada